Thread: Nurse Funnies....

Did you hear about the nurse who died and went
straight to hell??
It took her two weeks to realize she wasn't at work.



YOU KNOW YOU'RE A NURSE IF .
You would like to meet the inventor of the call light
some night in a dark alley.

Your sense of humor gets more warped each year.

Almost everything can seem humorous.....eventually.

You know the smell of different diarrhea well enough
to identify it.

You can tell the pharmacist more about the medication
they are dispensing than they know.

You check the caller ID on your day off to see if
anyone from the hospital is trying to call you and ask
you to work.

You've been telling stories in a restaurant and made
someone at another table throw up.

You notice you are using more 4 letter words than you
did before you started nursing.

Every time someone asks you for a pen you can find at
least 4 of them on you.

You live by the motto "to be right is only half the
battle, to convince the doctor is more difficult".

You've told a confused patient that your name was that
of your co worker and to holler if they need help.

Your bladder can expand to the size of a Winnebago's
water tank.

You find yourself checking out other customers veins
in grocery waiting lines.

You avoid unhealthy looking shoppers in the mall for
fear they will drop near you and you'll have to do CPR
on your day off.

Your finger has gone more places than you ever thought
possible.

You have seen more penises than any prostitute.

You've had a patient with a nose ring, a brow ring and twelve earrings say, "I'm afraid of shots."
You've ever bet on someone's blood alcohol level.
You plan your next meal while performing gastric lavage.
You believe every waiting room should have a Valium salt lick. (heck so should the staff break rooms!)
You have your weekends off planned a year in advance.
You have ever had a patient control his seizures when offered food.
You know it's a full moon without having to look at the sky.



If you are not a nurse and have been sent this by a
friend who is, it's just to help you understand our
mindset and questionable mental status/sanity Most of
the time we function in spite of this sick sense of
humor, fairly normally and very responsibly.

I read this a few times before and I love it. It is so true. It's hard to believe everyone feels the same way I do.
lol

I'm not a nurse but worked as a medication aide for years and I can relate to this!

That is sooooooo funny, yet so true! I work in a hospital and am in nursing school so I can totally relate. I even fowarded your jokes to coworkers!

omg all those are so true!

Ahhahahaah! So funny. I'm a CNA in nursing school, so I can def relate to most of these.

So TRUE!!!!!!Love it!!

OMG! I printed it outto take to the nurses i work with, its sooooo true! Im a nursing tech and most of those relate to me too. Especally the one about the call light.

those are so funny, lol!!!