Thread: Time for some Jokes!!!

Local Strip Club

Because Dave works hard at the plant and spends most evenings bowling or playing basketball at the gym, his wife thinks he is pushing himself too hard, so for his birthday she takes him to a local strip club.

The doorman at the club greets them and says, ''Hey, Dave! How ya doin?'' His wife is puzzled and asks if he's been to this club before. ''Oh no,'' says Dave. ''He's on my bowling team.''

When they are seated, a waitress asks Dave if he'd like his usual Budweiser. His wife is becoming uncomfortable and says, ''You must come here a lot for that woman to know you drink Budweiser.'' ''No, honey, she's in the Ladies Bowling League. We share lanes with them.'' A stripper comes over to their table and throws her arms around Dave. ''Hi, Davey,'' she says, ''Want your usual table dance?''

Dave's wife, now furious, grabs her purse and storms out of the club. Dave follows and spots her getting into a cab. Before she can slam the door, he jumps in beside her and she starts screaming at him.

The cabby turns his head and says, ''Looks like you picked up a real doozie this time, Dave!''
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Little Johnny

Little Johnny hears the word bitch at school. So he goes home and asks his mom "What does bitch mean". His mom answers "Bitch means people like you and me". Then Johnny hears the word ****. So he asks his mom what it means his mom says "**** means food". Johnny hears ****. Being the curious person he is he asks his mom. She says "**** means changing clothes". Then his mom says "Johnny the presindent is comming so answer the door and tell him that the foods on the table and me and your dad are changing clothes up stairs". When the president comes Johnny says "Hi bitch, the shits on the table and my mom and dad are ******* up stairs".
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Freudian slips

A man was sitting on a bus looking ashamed. The man next to him noticed and asked what the matter was.

He said that when he went to buy the bus ticket, the woman serving him had the most unbelievable breasts, so he got flustered and asked for two tickets to Tittsburgh instead of Pittsburgh. The man next to him laughed and said, ''Don't worry about that. We all make Freudian slips. This morning I was having breakfast with my wife. I meant to say, 'Pass the salt,' but I accidently said, 'You ******* bitch, you ruined my life.'"

I ENJOYED THE LOCAL STRIP CLUB THINGY.......MORRRREEEEEEEEEEE PLSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS.
THERE'S THIS LADY IN MY OFFICE THAT KEEPS ASKING ME IF ASHY HAS POSTED JOKES....SO YOU SEE YOU MAKE DAY ALOT OF THE TIME.

Originally Posted by princess

THERE'S THIS LADY IN MY OFFICE THAT KEEPS ASKING ME IF ASHY HAS POSTED JOKES....SO YOU SEE YOU MAKE DAY ALOT OF THE TIME.

ahh... motivation.. thanks princess

ANYTIME HONNIE..YOU ARE MY ONE-TIME-STEP-UP TONIC ON A CLUMSY DAY AND ANY DAY.

lol! i very much enjoyed the first and the last one haha!!!

Originally Posted by Tinette

lol! i very much enjoyed the first and the last one haha!!!

but u took a complete hour to read them