Thread: Having issues w/DH

Obviously I don't know anything about your relationship but it sounds like you guys need to sit down and work out exactly what isn't working. If your hubbie doesn't seem to want to open up to you then unfortunately all the relationship books in the world won't help. Maybe he is freaking out because of the impending responsibility of another baby? Sorry if I got too personal hunnie. I do feel for your situation, you are pregnant and don't need this stress right now X

Terri - Not too personal. On this board we've all gotten terribly personal about our bodies, so this is not bad. LOL. I've tried to talk to him, but he just so deep in his thoughts these days. It really bothers me. He got weird like this during my pregnancy with Alexander, but seems a bit more far gone this time. I'm always trying to get him to talk to me, and he always finds new ways to be out of the house in the evenings. His new thing? Running. He absolutely HAS to go running early in the morning or in the evening. And just informed me that he has set up some volunteer stuff this weekend to build up his application for the Warrant Officer program in the Army. He's planning on going Blue to Green (which is the program where Air Force move over to Army) early next year, RIGHT AFTER the baby is due, and got a bit upset with me when I told him that while he was in basic training that I would go home to California.

I think maybe this all may stem from me MISTAKINGLY telling him that his mother stresses me out so I absolutely do not want her in the delivery room. With the last pregnancy I was feeling the same way, but because he got all whiny and man like I caved. This time I was my labor and deliver experience to be more calm and relaxing (as relaxing as labor could ever be. LOL). I think it's pretty common for MILs to be a pain, so I don't know why he thinks I would be the odd one out, especially with his mom being the way she is. LOL. That's probably not it, though, because he's been weird for awhile, but lately it's just so much worse. ((sigh)). I seriously don't need this stress. I'm already stressing about my health in this pregnancy with the lupus and blood sugars, not to mention ways to make my son feel included in all this considering his age. I seriously just want to tell my husband to get over himself for the next several months so I can get through this pregnancy without feeling alone.

~Leah

well not only is the military just adding stress (LET ME TELL YOU MY RELATIONSHIP is so rocky when hubs is gone) but he has never said he didn't know what to do about us...... do u think there might be somthing else going on?

Have you considered marriage counseling?

Oh Leah I'm sorry you guys are going through a tough time. Sounds like you both need to get to the root of it. Maybe you are both trying to guess why the relationship is at odds right now. I know I sometimes feel more alone because my hubby's been traveling a lot lately. I had to actually sit him down and tell him that I needed him more emotionally then I normally do. (gotta love the pregnancy hormones). Otherwise I was giving him attitude for really no reason at all. Sorta blaming him for being gone even though I knew he couldn't help it. Anyways after we FINALLY sat down to talk things out we were both way off about how the other person was feeling. It really helped us to connect again verbally. I think as busy moms of toddlers and life just being hectic we lose track of our relationships. At least I do.

Big hugs hun

I've considered counseling, but I've been doing a lot of reading about it and from what I've read, in a vast majority of cases, it doesn't work, and judging from the way DH is acting, I don't even know if he's up for it.

usmc - I don't know what is going on with him. It's really stressful, though. To make matters worse, the end of next month he leaves again for a month long TDY. He's been so preoccupied with what he wants to do in his career (Officer in the Army so he could fly helos) that it just seems AJ and I are kind of an afterthought. We just got here in February and he basically wants us to leave here after only a year. I think he'd probably do it sooner if I wasn't pregnant. I feel like I can't make any longterm plans because I don't even know if we'll even be together for long. He told me the other day that we don't have anything in common anymore. I don't understand that because I still enjoy doing everything that I did when we were dating, but my priorities have changed. These days being a parent is the most important thing I do.

Girls, I'm just so confused. I don't feel that I've changed so much in the last few years that he should feel the way he does. I'm starting to wonder if maybe he's wanting to see someone else.

~Leah

I'm sorry sweetheart, I don't think that it's anything that you did.

well of course the military takes up most my husbands time but alexa and i always come close to first....it is hard maybe he is having issues at work?? maybe they are having issues with going into the army??? i mean u dont think there is somthing else going on right? i mean your priorities change and so should his! is he happy about the pregnancy - i am hoping it is nothing major cause u know how military relationship can be with deployments and work stress and as long as he is not abusing alcohol or messing around with the wrong things the military wont make him go into couseling....but if u talk to him maybe he will volunteer to go?