To Chart or Not to Chart...and a few ?'s

**FirstTimeMommy31** · August 7th, 2006, 09:34 PM

Ok. So, hubby and I had a nice long talk about TTC last night. We've decided that we both really want a child, we're ready for one (just as we were before), and that I shouldn't let my fear of m/c again stop us from giving it another go. Of course if we do conceive again soon, I'm sure I will need something like biweekly scans to keep my mind at ease...but I agree with him that it's something I want to do as soon as my Dr. says it's healthy. So I have some questions...

1. I know my Dr. said that we should wait until after three normal AF cycles...but what would happen if we conceive before then? (I wouldn't want to have an unhealthy baby or increase my chances of going through another m/c) I'm asking this because I do not want to go on birth control pills or shots for the short time while we wait, and condoms (which is what we would be using while we wait) as we all know are not 100% effective.

2. For those of you ladies that have had a m/c, about how long after your bleeding stopped did AF make her first appearence? I'm still bleeding (although it's getting a lot lighter), and AF would've been due on the 12 of this month, so I'm wondering about around when she'll be back.

3. To chart or not to chart?...For those of you that are charting while TTC, how do you feel it works for you emotionally? We were very lucky before in that it only took one cycle of trying, but now I can already feel myself getting obsessive about it. I don't want to chart because I feel like it's going to turn the TTC process into...well, a process...and I feel like it will make me insane (in turn making hubby insane) with having to

on specific days. BUT...now I'm worried about missing my chance this time around, I want a baby so badly and I'd like to chart for that reason. So I'm torn between wanting to improve my odds by charting, and wanting to TTC as stress free as possible without worrying about temps and what not...

Thanks all!

**hikari-no-tsubasa** · August 8th, 2006, 05:38 AM

I'm so sorry for your loss, and so glad that you are going to keep trying!!! I know that there are ladies here who can help more than I can, but this is what I know...

1) Condoms have a higher success rate than the pill, don't they? And you could always try charting to find out your fertile days... in order to avoid them! That's still no guarantee, but I think there are a couple of moms around here who conceived right after a miscarriage (Sam at least.. and x_ashley_x?) and they seem to be okay? Of course you should TRY to follow your doctor's advice... but if fate steps in, I don't think it's much of a reason to worry.

2) Never had an m/c, thank God... those who have should be able to help.

3) I charted for awhile... but it seemed like when I was charting, it never really workedo ut for us to B/D on the best days... DH would work late or something would come up, we'd have a fight or something and NOT be in the mood. After awhile I stopped taking my temperature, but I was semi-consciously aware of my cycle length, and we just B/Ded about every other day for the time period that would be aprroximately around ovulation... I may have missed an early ovulation or something, but I was a lot more relaxed after I stopped the really specific charting, and it was more like "Oooh, wonder if we can make a baby tonight?" Rather than "Okay, this is the day. Pants down, legs open, lets get this over with." It became more fun, and we actually B/D ed more often, and it was more fun. And it worked eventually! Especially since you've conceived already once, you know that you CAN... If I were you I'd relax and enjoy for a few months at least... be aware that "it's around that time" but don't worry too much about pinpointing the exact moment of ovulation? You're only 20 anyway... even if it does take you awhile, you'll still be a young mother and have plenty of time to have multiple babies if you want to.

**FirstTimeMommy31** · August 8th, 2006, 12:08 PM

Originally Posted by hikari-no-tsubasa

I'm so sorry for your loss, and so glad that you are going to keep trying!!! I know that there are ladies here who can help more than I can, but this is what I know...

1) Condoms have a higher success rate than the pill, don't they? And you could always try charting to find out your fertile days... in order to avoid them! That's still no guarantee, but I think there are a couple of moms around here who conceived right after a miscarriage (Sam at least.. and x_ashley_x?) and they seem to be okay? Of course you should TRY to follow your doctor's advice... but if fate steps in, I don't think it's much of a reason to worry.

2) Never had an m/c, thank God... those who have should be able to help.

3) I charted for awhile... but it seemed like when I was charting, it never really workedo ut for us to B/D on the best days... DH would work late or something would come up, we'd have a fight or something and NOT be in the mood. After awhile I stopped taking my temperature, but I was semi-consciously aware of my cycle length, and we just B/Ded about every other day for the time period that would be aprroximately around ovulation... I may have missed an early ovulation or something, but I was a lot more relaxed after I stopped the really specific charting, and it was more like "Oooh, wonder if we can make a baby tonight?" Rather than "Okay, this is the day. Pants down, legs open, lets get this over with." It became more fun, and we actually B/D ed more often, and it was more fun. And it worked eventually! Especially since you've conceived already once, you know that you CAN... If I were you I'd relax and enjoy for a few months at least... be aware that "it's around that time" but don't worry too much about pinpointing the exact moment of ovulation? You're only 20 anyway... even if it does take you awhile, you'll still be a young mother and have plenty of time to have multiple babies if you want to.

Thanks for the advice, and congrats on your pregnancy! I agree with you, since we've conceived once I feel like we shouldn't worry so much about charting in the beginning. I think if we have problems conceiving after a few months I'll give it a try.