Thread: Crazy things we do on 2ww

TO cheer everyone up!!!

"LAUNDRY LIST" OF CONFESSED HABITS IN THE 2WW!!!


- I gave my follicles "pep talks" in the car on the way to work. I promised to buy them ponies if they would just fertilize. (I lied)

- I gave DH's sperm "pep talks" just before BD. I told them they wouldn't have a curfew if they would just penetrate one of the follicles. (I lied)

- I keep a bottle of baby powder next to my pre-natal vitamins. Every morning when I take a vitamin, I take a whiff from my baby powder. I thought it might give me the same effect as that old adage about "smelling a baby."

- I also washed my hair with baby shampoo and used a baby soap and lotion every day. I'm crazy, but hey - something worked!

- I have a BUNCH of good luck charms sitting next to my bed; a doll baby, a plastic stork, and one of those worry dolls that you're supposed to shake when you're feeling upset (which I did). They're all sitting on a plate that belonged to me when I was a baby.

- I make sure to sit up straight at all times. I get freaked that if I slouch while sitting, I might smush my fallopian tube, ovaries, and uterus... therefore causing conception not to take place.

- In the 2ww, when I'm grocery shopping I just *have* to go down the HPT aisle even though I know I'm not going to buy any! I also go to the magazine section to scan for pregnancy magazines even though I know I won't buy one.

- I won't lift anything in the 2ww heavier than a gallon of milk for fear that the baby will unplant itself and cause a early miscarriage.

- I won't cancel my gyn appt. even though it is scheduled two days after AF is due in July -- what if I get a BFP and need to see her anyways?!?!

- When I do kitty litter duty, I tie a shirt or one of DH's socks around my mouth and nose to make sure I don't breathe in anything that could harm the baby.

- I won't wear my tight jeans, though they make my butt look sooo good.

- I keep babydust from BabyHopes.com in each of my lamp drawers on our nightstands.

- I make DH mow the lawn during my luteal phase, as the vibrations might dizzy his little soldiers, who are trying so diligently to penetrate the egg.

- I don't allow myself to "view" or "come in contact with" a tampon. If I do, that would likely mean af is on her way. I keep them tucked away in a dark, dark area of the house, hoping I won't have to see them for another 10 months or so....

- In the tww, I won't do any type of exercise that requires jumping or abdominal work. I'm worried that it will keep it from implanting, or if it implants, it might knock it loose.

- I won't let my dogs sit on my stomach like they like to do. I don't want any pressure on my lower abdomen. I can't really think of anything else I do. I'm sure there is some unconscious stuff, though.

- I won't have an orgasm during the 2WW because I think it might push the egg out. As a result I rarely have orgasms anymore because the most we do it is during my fertile window, so I've basically screwed myself (no pun intended) out of enjoying sex. From now on, I'm going to just get my freak on because abstaining certainly hasn't helped.

- I make DH do the cat litter during 2ww!

- Sometimes when i go to bed I put my hands on my tummy area just in case it might encourage any implanation/faster swimming etc my theory is they are making it warm and its important to have a warm uterus etc.. (read that somewhere)

- I still let my cats sit on me though for the same reason, they are a bit lighter than a dog mind!! Maybe their purring will encourage the little swimmers to swim longer/faster and meet and fertilize the egg?

- Same thing about the dog in my lap (and my poor doggie looks at me utterly confused) Sorry pooch, mommy's a lunatic!

- I hold my breath when pumping gas in the two week wait

- I won't sleep on my stomach in the 2ww

- No sex in the 2ww!!! (DH loves that one)

- I do orgasm... that's too natural of a thing for me to be afraid it might upset implantation. And i can't go without it. No way. No how.

- I am out of tampons but I refused to buy them because I didn't want to encourage AF.

- I rub my belly in the shower, and sometimes, talk to it hoping to encourage implantation/growth!

- DH hugs me and I think my boobs are tender, so until AF shows I am constantly grabbing and poking them to see if they really are tender.

- I think I'm peeing lots more than normal, so I keep drinking liquids to see if I’ll wee more often. Do you see the trend in this habit??

- I am afraid to cough, sneeze, fart or BM in fear that my embryos will get dislodged.
- I worry that if I don't "talk" to my embryos they will feel unloved and therefore will not stick.
- I cannot sleep comfortably because most positions I worry will cause my embryos to not implant (i.e., one leg stretched out and the other leg pulled up).

- I wasn't allowed to say "I think I'm pregnant" - not even after the fourth or fifth + HPT!