Thread: Any advice

Hi, im new to this site. I have been thinking about having children for awhile now. However I am unsure when the right time to do this is. I would love to begin a family with my partner now or in the near future howeverhe thinks that it is not the right time. He already has to children 3 and 5 who live with us. He said he did want more children with me but he has not talked about it for some time. I dont want to 'accidently' get pregnant but Im worried he will keep saying it is not the right time. I am 23 and he is 32. Any advice?

rwilks--

I posted on your introduction post also. My advise would be to sit down with your partner and talk. Tell him your feelings about wanting a child and ask about his. It may not be he doesn't want children just concerned about something else entirely.

How long has it been since you moved to Iceland to be with him and his children? Maybe he just wants you to get settled in.

Let us know how it goes. You are both still young enough to have children even if you end up waiting a while.

Samstars

rwilks,

Samstars gave you some good advice. Talking with your partner is a great thing. It could be that he would like to be married first, or he could be worried about finances, etc. Has he told you why he doesn't feel it is the right time?

Hey rwilks,

I'd follow both Elleth and Samstars advice on this one. The best thing to do is talk about it openly and honestly. He needs to be prepared to be open and honest with you as well.

He needs to try understand the reasons for you wanting to have a baby with him, and you need to try and understand his reasons for maybe wanting to wait, and then come to a middle ground where you can both feel as though there is a positive outcome?

One thing to remember is that you need to try and not make an argument out of it. As hard as that might be (we all know how frustrating a man can be! ) it is important, as this kind of discussion is almost always an ongoing one, and if it turns into an argument every time neither of you will want to talk about it, and you'll never resolve it.

The other important thing relax and enjoy each other and your relationship, and know it will happen for you at the right time.

Good luck and feel free to use us as a sounding board if you need to! Let us know how you get on!