Thread: I dont know what to do?

I have been thinking about nothing but having children for awhile now and I came off the pill at the end of June. But now my partner says that maybe he isnt ready for more children (he has 2 from a previous marriage) he said that now isnt the time. I just dont know what to do. I have been so excited about ttc for so long now. I cant understand why he suddenly feels like this. I cant stand the though of going back on birth control and waiting for him to change his mind. I feel like it is ok for him he already has children, even though its me that stays home with them. I am even thinking about pretending to go back on birth control and "accidently" falling pregnant. I really need your advice on this one.

Hey rwilks,
I am sorry to hear all of that. I can't believe he doesn't want any right now anymore! I don't know about faking it and not really telling him, I figure that might cause more problems. If I were you I would just stay off of the pill, and let your body get normal again. That way, when you are ready hopefully it will happen fast, or by accident. I know how you feel, because I really want to get pregnant now too, but I just want to be sure my DH is fully ready for one too. We are in this together, so I definetly want him on the same page as me. Just try to hang in there, and keep talking to him about it. Maybe he will change his mind if you tell him all of the advantages of having a baby now.

Hey rwilks,

I was just wanting to make sure you were ok. Did you talk to your DH some more about what to do? I hope he changes his mind, or you just happen to get pregnant.
Good luck with it all,
Christie

Hi rwilks,

I know exaclty how you feel...my husband and I have been around this now for the past year...one of us says yes we want another (we already have one...so a not exactly your situation) and then no...we don't. Usually when I say yes, he says no and vica versa! So it gets quite frustrating!

But I don't think you should just pretend you are on birth control again and so on! that would not be good for your relationship ...just hang on for a few days and then have a chat with him about it again. Usually they might just be having a bad day or something similar and so the thought of a child at that moment is something they don't want to add to the equation. the best thing is to sit and have a conversation together about it...don't bring up the whole "you have kids already, now it is my turn" kind of stuff...that will only distance him, rather tell him how you feel...that you are ready to have a baby and you want to have a baby together with him...just be honest and see how it goes from there.

Of course, these are all my opinions and I don't want you to just do as I have said...have a read and see what you think...I hope it helps though.

Blessings
T

Hi, rwilks.

It is such a difficult situation when one of you wants to try to conceive and the other does not.

Christie and T have given you some very good advice. I know you want to have a baby, but it is best when both parents want to have the baby. You mentioned in another post about your partner wanting to take a vacation with you. Do you think this may be the reason he is wanting to put it off for a bit?

I hope you can have a good heart-to-heart with him. Let us know how it goes.

Thank you for your advice. If I was lucky i might already be pregnant as I have not been on the pill for a month, but im not that lucky im sure. I tried to talk to him again but it just gets him angry and he wont talk about it. He said I am young enough to put it off for awhile but I want us to have children whilst we are both young, he is 33 this year. Im beginning to get frustrated with his children and I told him Im like a mom with no children. All I want are children but what if that means ruining our relationship. I have not gone back on this pill yet and he has not asked if I have, but I think he assumes I have.

good luck!