Thread: Two dillemmas..

Sorry hun, not too sure about the baby talk, but maybe it's a habit that he'll just have to break himself. As for the swearing... I guess all I can say is lead by example. Do your absolute best to make sure there are no bad words on TV or in video games, but especially coming out of you and dh. Maybe you could take something away each time he says a bad word? It's such a difficult age and I'm not quite there yet with Peyton so I don't really have much advice. Good luck though, hopefully someone on here will be able to help you out.

To follow on with what Terry said about leading by example, perhaps you should have a negative consequence for each time you or DH swears. That way your sons see it is not ok to say those words. I would also take a favorite thing away from him each time he swears, and then have some system where he can get them back...like if he goes a whole day without swearing he gets to pick one of the things you took away.

Thanks girls!! We attempted to do the swear jar, so maybe we'll do that again. We have major potty mouths, DH more so than I, but still. We've been able to watch ourselves, but we let the odd one slip out when we get frustrated, and of course that's when he catches us. He's got eagle ears too. I will take both of your advice though, so far he's been good all day, cross your fingers.

I don't know about either really. I'm surprised Adrian would keep going with the baby talk if he is getting no attention from it. Does he see you get angry over it? Cause that could be why he keeps doing it, like just to bother you...cause sometimes I think that is the main goal of children.

Good Luck!

#1 - it WILL pass, especially if you ignore it. IF he does carry it on and get picked on for it at school... he will stop.

#2 - IGNORE IT, totally, but only after a "That is not a nice word to say" - then leave it.

I have a potty mouth, so does my DH - but our kids have probably said less than 5 swear words ever. It also depends on the context they hear it as to whether they are likely to repeat it.

Originally Posted by SammyPajammy

#1 - it WILL pass, especially if you ignore it. IF he does carry it on and get picked on for it at school... he will stop.

#2 - IGNORE IT, totally, but only after a "That is not a nice word to say" - then leave it.

I have a potty mouth, so does my DH - but our kids have probably said less than 5 swear words ever. It also depends on the context they hear it as to whether they are likely to repeat it.

o wise one Sammy, we are so alike that i agree with everything.
Jenn, my 10 year old still talks like a baby once in a while and we tell him to stop it and he does.

Thanks everyone. When Adrian talks babyish, I usually ignore him completely (he will eventually get the hint), or calmly tell him to not talk like a baby, and then he'll usually repeat his question normally.

With Jaxon, he was good all weekend, until DH said a bad word, and then he repeated it. We calmly talked to him that it was a bad word and that he wasn't allowed to say it, and Daddy shouldn't have said it, and then he was all good and didn't swear again. Hope it sticks!!

Ya see, I don't do the "Daddy shouldn't have said or done that - he was naughty" thing. Of course kids learn by example, but they also have to learn that there are different rules for kids and grown ups. Just bc a grown up does something, doesn't mean it is ok for a kid to.

I know it is a fine line and it is hard to find a balance.

I'm with Sammy on this one. Obviously you have to watch what you say a little bit, but there's nothing wrong with saying, "Daddy said that word because he is a grown up and grown ups are allowed to swear sometimes, but kids are not". It takes a little while, and obviously stay away from the really, really bad stuff, but they get it pretty fast. It's true- the rules are different for kids and grownups- mostly because grownups have a better sense of when swearing is appropriate and when it's not- and are aware of who their language can offend and the consequences of that.

I use that tactic with my students constantly. When they get whiny because I don't let them eat or drink in class (except water), but I walk around with a coffee cup, or have a snack at my desk- the real reason is because I work my butt off and often have to give up lunch, etc., but I just tell them, "work hard, become a teacher, then *you* can drink coffee in class. Or, if I'm feeling particularly moody, I just point to my name plate on the door and tell them, "that's why". 99.9% of the time they say, "oh, okay" and move on with it.

Basically, I'd play it straight with them. For the baby talk, I'd tell him straight up, "stop talking like that because people find it annoying." If he doesn't listen, he'll do it once at school- the kids will look at him like he's crazy, then he'll never do it again. The swearing, I'd just say that it's not okay for kids to swear, ever, even though mums and dads do it sometimes.