Thread: How do you help your single friends?

Hi I just got in from a girly evening and my single friend was very upset. There were friends there that had not seen each in ages and were taking about marriage, family life and children to catch up. My friend felt alone, not included and depressed. She was the only one in this situation not to be married or have children. She is 35 and wants desperately to have the whole thing, husband and kids. She is very worried about her biological clock and that she may run out of time. I said to her it is not like we intentionaly left her out, it is just catching up on our lives. I know it is very hard to meet people at this age and I am finding it hard to find that words to console her. I said when the time is right it will happen for her but she feels that it is never going to happen. Does anyone else have any suggestions? She is a great girl, has a great job and but can't seem to meet Mr Right. I have been out of the dating scene for so long I don't know what it is like. I have been married for twelve years so I really don't know what to say to her as I know that she wants exactly the life I have. Sam

I was in your friends position until I was 30 years old. My DH and I have only been married for 6 years. We are at the point now where most of my friends were when I was in my 20's. It is very, very hard for a single, non parent person to hear all the wonderful marriage stories and baby stories. Even some of the things we as married people feel just drive us crazy about our spouses, singles wish and pray for.

My advice for your friend would be to try and keep her head up. Get involved in a singles group at church, if she believes in God or some type of formalized religion. Faith I believe is a major factor in finding your life long partner. Maybe she could get involved in being a big sister or helping with children somewhere. It isn't a replacement but maybe it will help her heart.

Hope some of this helps.

Samstars

Thanks Samstars, she is very involved with the Salvation Army and works very hard as a special needs school teacher all week. This does not lend much time to socialize. She has tried singles nights and speed dating but has been unsuccessful. I wish that I can help her, she is almost 36 and worried about her biological clock but also wants to find her sole mate. There is just something missing in her life and she sinking deeper into depression about it. Sam

My girlfriend was a true career woman, and met all her boyfriends and eventually her husband thru internet dating. She did not have the time to casually meet people, as involved as she was in her career. There are many, many others like her, and I am sure your friend, floating around and have no way to meet each other!! She sounds awesome, I am sure it won't be hard for some one else to see her that way as well!!

That's what I keep telling her!!! But I guess all she is thinking about is how lonely she is feeling. I said to her try not to stress too much or try so hard and it will happen. Hopefully it will soon. Thanks, Sam.

The best part of internet dating or at least internet meeting people :) is while you are figuring out if you want to date some one, you are chatting with a couple others. It is fun and makes you so excited to chat with some others, you know?

Hi Sam,
How's sunny Brisbane today?
Maybe it is time she started moving on with the plan with out the man, he can still come later on. Would she ever consider sperm donation, adoption etc. Becoming a single mother may not be ideal, but being one is not impossible as long as you have great support from family and friends. Many strong and successful women have decided to go down this road as they wanted desperately to have a family but circumstance just wasn't in their favour. Sometimes we need to make life happen for us, not just wait around for it as it may just pass us by. As for the man, good things come and when we least expect them to. So perhaps suggest this to her, she seems to feel at such a loose end and perhaps thought of this but unsure of everyone else's reactions, so if you suggest it (if you agree) then she might feel like she does have choices and control over her life.
Would she consider this plan, stan??

Hi mellie, no I don't think you would go for this because of the Salvations Army religion. Thanks anyway. Sam

Hey Sam. How are things going with your friend? Has she found a guy yet? Is she still depressed?

No she hasn't. She is so busy at work etc there doesn't leave much time to meet people. As each year that passes I think she gets more depressed at the fact that meeting someone, getting married and having kids is slipping away from her.