Thread: I need advice in a hurry

please if anyone sees this, answer me! I am only 16 years old and i just found out i have cervical dysplasia, stage three. there is a risk that it will turn into inavasive cancer. but hopefully not. but even the treatments can decrease fertility. my doctor has the same thing and her ob/gyn (who is mine too) told her if she wanted more kids, then right now is the time to try. i am still a teenager and haven't even began my life yet, so i don't have that option. i want a baby later on in life though, more than anything. luckily, my ob/gyn is also a fertility specialist, but i am still afraid, what if something goes wrong?? what will i do?? i really need advice right now. i am graduating this year and i am thinking about having a baby the next year. i don't want my boyfriend getting involved though, because he is a year younger than me and has to wait until next year to graduate. i know he is not ready. i'm not even ready. and believe me, i know what it is like to be a mom when your not ready. my ex had a little boy who i had to take care of most of the time when he was partying. i loved him like he was my son, but it was still alot to handle. i don't want to have to go through that again. but i really do want to have my own child. PLEASE HELP ME!!!!

I dont think you should try to get preg. now just because. Especially because your not ready neither is you boyfriend. There still is a chance that you could get preg later right? Wait till then, and decide if you want a baby. Then if its not in Gods plans for you to give birth, there are soooo many children that need to be adopted. I've got some friends that she had to have a hysterectomy in her 20's, but wanted a child. They just adopted a little boy from Russia. He is wonderful. The good thing was no morning sickness, no weight gain, no sore breast, no 50 million trips to the doctor, no cravings. Anyway, I'm just saying don't rush to get preg. just because the doctor says there is a chance you will not. The bottom line is your not ready. I hope this was of some help.

Amanda

amanda is right! Dont rush into something your not ready for just beacause a doctor tells you something...we have all heard the stories of how doctors tell a woman it will never happen and then it does...thats because they are not the final word....GOD is.

Hi there,

you've been given some great advice here...

If you are not ready don't do it, you and your child would suffer for it no matter how much you loved them.

Have you discussed the possiblity of freezing some eggs at all?? This could mean in the future that you could decide to have a biological child of your own, with whowever you wanted to. If for some reason you are unable to carry them at that stage there are always other options (i.e. surrogacy etc).

It potentially could be an expensive exercise, but TOTALLY worth it if you are wanting children in the future, and if it turns out you can have children naturally later on then FANTASTIC, and you've got the fall back of having your eggs stored just in case!!

I got told i'd never carry a pregnancy to term due to endometriosis, but i am now half way through an incredibly healthy pregancy, with zero complications.

I'm sure your doctor is preparing you for the worst, which they are obliged to do. But there are always way's to do things, and they are coming up with more and more advances in technology, so there's nothing to say they can't find a way around this for you.

Good luck in making your decision and let us know if there is anything we can do...

I've jsut had a look in more detail of waht this is - while i had heard of it, i needed to know a little bit more about it... - have a look at http://www.gynalternatives.com/cervical.htm

Did your gyno tell you what kind (i.e. what level) of cervical dyslpasia you had? And there is ALWAYS a treatment... and as long as check ups are made regularly you should be fine...

"Again, you should remember that cervical dysplasia should be considered to be pre-cancerous, but not cancer. Statistically, mild dysplasia is more likely to go away without any treatment that severe dysplasia, which has a higher probability of becoming invasive cancer over time if not treated. Remember, it is extremely uncommon for dysplasia to progress to cancer if it properly treated and the women has regular follow up exams!"

I was told at 16 that I probably wouldn't have children. I was raped and got Clhamidia(sp) from the guy. I didn't know I had it, until it was so severe that I had to go to the ER! They said the scar tissue had built up SO much that I probably would never have children. Well, I got pregnant at 17, and placed her for adoption because I was not ready. Now I have one of my own, she is 16 months. I miscarried one in May. Now, I am due with another in May 2006!!!

So, just goes to say... it is possible!! Don't do something you are not ready for! God has plans for you. Just trust in Him! If the time comes, you are ready, and cannot have biological kids... ADOPT!! There are so many children without a home or a family right now!!!

HI Maiden

First of all at 16 I am sure the diagnosis scared you badly. Take a step back and learn everything you can about your diagnosis, please.

You have gotten terrific advice here and I hope you are doing okay.

I pray for you that when the time is right and your are ready you are able to conceive and have a baby of your own.

I also believe like several of the other ladies said that God has a plan for you and if by some chance you are not able to bear a child of your own that you will be open to adoption. As a soon to be adoptive mother I can tell you it is just as hard if not harder (forgive me ladies) as being pregnant. We have tried for 2 years to adopt, actively searching for a child or sibling group to bring home as our forever family. The ride was hard, very hard. We feel in love several times to only have our heart broke but God had a plan for us and today we have a son who is 10 years old and will be officially ours in time for our 3rd anniversary of starting the adoption journey. We will keep looking after his adoption because we want him to have siblings, so our journey isn't over yet.

IF you need to talk more or just to have a place to vent you have found it. My thoughts are prayers are with you.

Samstars

hi, just wanted to let you know that i also have stage three, the doc told me yesturday. I am going to schedule my surgery for the second week in july. listen, don't be scared.... i had dysplasia 4 years ago and after my origional biopsy the test came back ok and then three months later i had another pap and the cells showed up again and guess what..... i found out that i was pregnant, well the obgyn didn't want to mess with it so she sent me to a cancer specialist, he said that if they had to do the surgery, that i could still have children, they would just have to stitch the cervix to hold the baby in, and as the baby grew then i would have had to go on bed rest so it would not be born prematurely. so don't be scared, let the doctors do what they have to so it doesn't turn into cancer and when you are ready to have children you can... remeber the cervix is only the "mouth" of the uteris, it can be stitched and you can have all the babies you want. good luck sister.

Lori