Its breaking my heart

[Endurance.]

My best friend just found out she is pregnant and she is getting an abortion. Its just tearing me up inside that my husband and I have been trying for months to have a baby and she is getting rid of hers.
Her reasoning is because she wont be able to play volleyball (she plays for a couple different teams, made MVP for the western part of the state she lives in). It just...it breaks my heart, it makes me mad, just so many emotions.
I talked to her about adoption but she said she does not want to carry a baby. I cried when she told me and now its all I can think about. I see a baby on tv or at the store and I think of her baby and how it will never get a chance to grow up.

[Jeneva]

I'm sorry. It must be tough seeing someone give up something that you are trying so hard to get. It is very sad, but just try to remember that it's her choice. I hope she doesn't regret her decision. Try to support her since she's your best friend, but if it's too much to give her that support let her know so you're not torn up inside so much.

[Anita]

your friend is an idiot! I can't believe she would abort just to play volleyball. She will most definitely regret it, actually I hope she does regret it forever.
Obviously I am pro-life, I really hope u get pregnant soon. How long have you been ttc?

[Endurance.]

We have been officially TTCing since September, but we had thrown caution to the wind before that.
It is hard to know she is doing this. I just...I dont even know what to do. We have been best friends since we were little bitty. And it just hurts because Im trying my best to support her, but I have this under lying resentment about it. I tried to talk her out of it. I even went as far as telling her if she would carry it to term, we would adopt the baby but she still said no. She went to the doctor and they told her she is between 6 and 7 weeks.
I love her to death and I hate to say this but Im not sure if I can look at her the same way anymore.

[TracieM]

I understand your pain and why you're upset.....no one blames you for that. It's always hard to see someone who has something that we want to take that thing for granted. But in the end, this is her choice and not yours. Everyone has their reasons for the decisions they make in life, and even though it may not seem like a good enough reason to you, it's not for you to decide. She will have to live with her decision for the rest of her life....be it good or bad. I have always been pro-choice. I don't feel it's my place to make a decision what another woman can or cannot do with her own body. Take your time and grieve....maybe even take some time away from her if you need to. But if you want to keep your friendship, then you'll have to move past this and get over the resentment. I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason....even if we don't understand why at the time. I hope you are blessed with a baby of your own very soon!!!

[Brooke]

That is just horrible. She will regret it most people do. I could never continue to be friends with someone who made the decision it would just hurt me too much. I really hope she changes her mind. But good luck to you and your husband I hope you get pregnant soon.

[Liv22]

Originally Posted by TracieM

I understand your pain and why you're upset.....no one blames you for that. It's always hard to see someone who has something that we want to take that thing for granted. But in the end, this is her choice and not yours. Everyone has their reasons for the decisions they make in life, and even though it may not seem like a good enough reason to you, it's not for you to decide. She will have to live with her decision for the rest of her life....be it good or bad. I have always been pro-choice. I don't feel it's my place to make a decision what another woman can or cannot do with her own body. Take your time and grieve....maybe even take some time away from her if you need to. But if you want to keep your friendship, then you'll have to move past this and get over the resentment. I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason....even if we don't understand why at the time. I hope you are blessed with a baby of your own very soon!!!

Beautifully said.

That is not a good enough reason to murder your baby. She WILL regret this decision for the rest of her life, it's just the way it is. This always makes me think about what this world is coming too...horrible.

[Jackie]

I am pretty much pro life. I understand that some people need to have abortions depnding on the circumstances, I guess I just don't agree with people using it as a form of birth control.

I think most people who have abortion will either regret it or at least spend time wondering about that child they aborted, what it would look like, whether it would be boy or girl etc.

I totally understand why you are upset, and I know I would feel the same way too if I was in your situation. I guess we just have to understand that not everyone has the same feelings about abortion.

I hope you are blessed with a baby soon x

[Ferris]

Originally Posted by TracieM

I understand your pain and why you're upset.....no one blames you for that. It's always hard to see someone who has something that we want to take that thing for granted. But in the end, this is her choice and not yours. Everyone has their reasons for the decisions they make in life, and even though it may not seem like a good enough reason to you, it's not for you to decide. She will have to live with her decision for the rest of her life....be it good or bad. I have always been pro-choice. I don't feel it's my place to make a decision what another woman can or cannot do with her own body. Take your time and grieve....maybe even take some time away from her if you need to. But if you want to keep your friendship, then you'll have to move past this and get over the resentment. I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason....even if we don't understand why at the time. I hope you are blessed with a baby of your own very soon!!!

I agree--this is very well said.

I feel so blessed that we live in a place and time where women do have choices. There is no one forcing us to have children when we are not ready, and no one stopping us from having children, or limiting the number, gender, etc. when we are ready. Just as I wouldn't want anyone telling me now that I couldn't have a baby, or that I was wrong for trying to conceive, I don't think it's necessarily my place to judge what other women are doing in terms of their families.

It must hurt to have such different views from your close friend, and it must be frustrating to be at such opposite ends right now--when it's something that you see so strongly one way, and she obviously sees so strongly from a very different perspective. But sometimes the best thing a friend can do is support even if he/she doesn't completely understand.

I am TTC now and very excited to be at a place in my life where we can start this journey. I got pregnant (completely unplanned, even while using a condom) when I was 19 and had an abortion at 6 weeks. I don't regret the decision at all, I feel it was the best decision for me and my life, and I certainly didn't have any long-lasting trauma from the decision. Of course some women do have trauma/long-term distress after having an abortion, but it certainly is not true that all women do and in fact many studies show that depending on variables such as reason for aborting, clarity of decision, and how the procedure went, the majority of women are "ok" with their decision even years later and do go on to have families later in life if they so choose.

I hope for the best for both you and your friend, and I hope that if your friendship is worthwhile, that both of you will be able to stick together even through this tough time.